Beattitude No. 5

The message today was on the 5th beattitude on the series of the Sermon On the Mount - Mercy... It was really impactful... I wept... Just the thought of Jesus' kindness and love for me while I was yet sinner was enough to make my eyes watery... But that wasn't it... We sang a new song today and during worship, it was like an answer to my prayer... I have been asking God what I should do regarding my situation now, my life now... How is it that I can move on to the next level of my walk with God... For the past few weeks, we have been learning about being broken before God, being poor in the spirit, being hungry and thirsty for God and being humble... Every message spoke right into my heart... For the past 2 weeks, everyday during my quiet time, I will be asking God many, many whats and whys and hows... what does it really mean to be broken? how is it then I can be truely broken? and many, many more... although little by little I came to understand but the main question has not been answered... I am like at the cross-road of my life now and there are a few decisions that need to be made... Just last night, during my quiet time, my spirit was already screaming for an answer but still nothing... God spoke to me about a few other things but still didn't answer my question... Then today, during cell group, God was like telling me something but I didn't really get it... Then I went service... During the first worship song, the atmosphere was already really very strong and when the lyrics showed, it was like "BAM!" The lyrics were shouting at me... "One life I lay at Your altar, One love I have with You, Touch me again fill me as You hold my outstretched hands, One word You know I'll follow, One heart broken to You, Use me again Your mercies follow me all my days" So much like the things I have been screaming to God about... During the message, God was telling me much... Much understanding, much revelation but still no answer... Until after the message, I was already half thinking that maybe I'll bug You again tonight then the presence of God sudden came so strongly... Something in me kept telling me don't give up, press in somemore... Then during the worship, the same lyrics which struck me earlier had another meaning... I lay my life on the altar of God, I love Him with all my heart and He will touch me like I have never known before... and when He speaks I forsake all and follow Him, when i have a heart that is so broken, so hungry for Him, then He will use me again and His mercies (many, many mercy) will be upon me... Wow... I wept like nobody's business... Well... It was really nobody's business... Anyway... It was so wonderful... You have to personally experience it to know what it is like... :)